Top 10 Funny Brad Paisley Songs

There’s one thing Paisley definitely doesn’t do: shy away from tough topics. In today’s world, there are so many people living double lives: those online and those in normal everyday existence. He tackles this rather heavy (and disheartening) subject in a lighthearted way that pairs descriptive, off-kilter, but oh-so-true lyrics with an honesty and perception that’s spot on. Take a look at these lyrics: “Online I live in Malibu / I posed for Calvin Klein, I’ve been in GQ,” and then the reality check of: “In real life the only time I / Ever even been to L.A. / Was when I got the chance with the marching band / To play tuba in the Rose Parade.” And then do yourself a favor and watch the music video; it will have you laughing, shaking your head, and hitting replay all night long.

What would happen if the biggest movie star in the country met the most famous person in a tiny rural town, aka the most famous person in the country? Meet Paisley’s song “Famous People.” A country guy named Kurt has a thing for Ashley Judd, and the closest he’s been to Hollywood is Dollywood. He meets a famous movie star who’s hanging around town, and the result? It’s pretty funny: “When you get back to Beverly Hills, you can tell all your buddies, you met one of the most famous people in the country.” A play on words has never been so fun!

This song really is a knee slapper. And it’s the kind that only the ever-charming Paisley can get away with. After all, as the story goes, the narrator of the song gets a little jealous of his girl’s potential suitors, so he does a little dirty work to make sure he’s the only one for her. And it’s not just a few white lies: He tells a cowboy the girl used to be a man, informs the doctor she was dating she’s actually married, and scares away the dentist by telling him she had seven kids. Then, the main character spins the reason why he’s doing it by saying, “Even if I am responsible for scaring them away / And you’d really ought to thank me, I was doin’ you a favor / ‘Cause it never woulda worked out anyway.“

In recent years, the celebrity spotlight has translated to pretty crazy behavior. In “Celebrity,” Paisley casts a harsh light in a humorous manner on what show business is like today — specifically, the explosion of reality shows, entitled behavior (throwing a fit when your latte isn’t spot-on), and run-of-the-mill Hollywood troubles like on-a-whim marriages and suing family members. He’s poignant in these lyrics: “Someday I’m gonna be famous / Do I have talent? Well, no / These days you don’t really need it thanks to reality shows.“

“It’s not who wears the pants, it’s who wears the skirt,” Paisley sings on this track. And all the women stood up and cheered when this song came out because it lifts up women in the most hilarious way. He takes on the macho man who “don’t take orders,” reminding him cleverly that while a man can probably bench 350, he’s subject to what the woman wants. This line specifically had us hook, line, and sinker: “But just wait until that woman has a headache / And she sits there with her legs crossed / We’ll see how strong you are.” The man might wear the pants, but that ain’t how it works, according to the country star.

Even though this song isn’t full of romantic mushiness, it’s a pretty perfect love song. Know why? Because it gives advice on what to say — or not say — to your spouse, and is especially helpful for newlyweds or new couples; sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy. If she really does look chubby in that dress, Paisley tells you what to do. Or if the meal she spent all day cooking tastes more like a tire than a treat, you’d better not tell her that. One listen to this song will have you smiling, and the next listen will have you taking notes on exactly how to love your significant other. Bending the truth may be committing perjury, but it’s not a crime or a lie … that’s love.

Men, pay attention: The next time you want to buy your special woman something nice, listen to this song first. As Paisley points out, she doesn’t want flowers or big expensive gifts, or even a getaway vacation. What she really wants is simple and free: She wants you to put that toilet seat down. This song sounds like a mid-tempo ballad, but in reality, it’s all about the toilet, which makes it extra funny. Who wouldn’t laugh when hearing Paisley croon, “She just wants me to support her / And the best way that I’ve found / So with a gentle hand and a loving touch / I put that toilet seat down.“

This song has wit, personality and a touch of Paisley humor that keeps fans coming back for me. “Me Neither” is an uptempo song that describes a guy who’s trying to get the attention of a woman. The problem is, that woman isn’t really into him. So every time he asks her a question, whether he’s asking her to dance, if she believes in love at first sight, or if she wants to sit and talk a while — and she rejects him, he quickly retorts with “me neither.” “This may sound dumb, but here we go / Do you believe in love at first sight?” he sings. And the song immediately leads into: “Me neither / I’m glad that we agree / Believe me / That’s a big relief.” Her quick answers help save his pride and also clue him in to the fact that she’s just not that into him.

This song was the third No. 1 tune of Paisley’s career, and was the result of trying to write a song that would make people laugh. Well, his plan worked, landing it high up on this list. The synopsis? A male character’s lover threatens to leave him if he chooses fishing over staying home with her … and the title of the song says it all: He’s going to miss her when he gets home, because his finned friends will win his heart, every time. Especially hilarious are the lyrics “I’m gonna miss her / Oh, lookey there, I’ve got a bite.” Fans may not know that Paisley’s then-girlfriend and now wife, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, plays his jilted lover in the video. But in real life, he chooses his girl over the gills.

While ticks conjure shudders and disgusted faces from most people, to Paisley, they only represent opportunity — a chance to … check his girl for ticks. Because you never know if they’re hiding under your clothing, as Paisley sings: “You never know where one might be / There’s lots of places that are hard to reach / I gotcha.” It’s tongue-in-cheek humor that’s sure to put a smile on anyone’s face because it’s pretty obvious what the country star is up to, and it’s pretty enterprising at that. “Don’t worry babe I’ve got your back / And I’ve also got your front,” he croons. Pretty sure those possible ticks are only a means to an end!